Consensus44

Thinking Your Way Through a Labyrinth of Contemporary Issues

Committing suicide doesn’t achieve anything

The subject of suicide is a pretty sensitive topic, and my aim here is not to downplay the various problems people face that eventually leads them to take their own lives such as bullying, depression and shame. But rather I want to show that committing suicide doesn’t solve anything and in fact makes things worse for the person (in the afterlife) and for the people close to the person.

I personally haven’t had someone close to me commit suicide, and have never had suicidal thoughts so it is a bit hard for me to relate to people who are suicidal, but I feel very strongly that committing suicide is not a good thing to do. However, I have spoken with some people online who had suicidal thoughts or knew suicidal people. And I usually feel so powerless to shift that person’s thinking to more positive things, though I try.

As an example, I had been talking to this girl who was quite depressed about her life that she wanted to commit suicide if she didn’t get a 2.1 in her English degree (thank God she did get a 2.1). A bit of context: she’s atheist but comes from a muslim family, and her father abuses her emotionally and physically. She felt that if she didn’t get a 2.1 then she would be good for nothing, as she claims she has no looks and nothing else going for her. It was saddening to hear about her position. I gave her encouragement in writing her final dissertation which helped spur her on with that and she ended up with a 2.1 classification overall. She’s managed to get some work at a call centre so at least she is starting to get some measure of independence, so I can only hope life gets better for her now.

I was inspired to write this article when I found out about a Facebook post where a girl mentions her mother who committed suicide. The girl and her family aren’t angry with the mother as she had been dealing with depression for many years, and the girl is proud of her mother for having dealt with these negative emotions for so many years. Personally I found this post quite shocking as in my opinion taking one’s life always sounded like giving up, and so isn’t a sign of strength.

From any perspective you wish to look at about committing suicide, it looks like a really bad idea. Let’s say that you believe that this world is all there is. So, once you commit suicide then that’s it, your existence is gone. Any potential you had goes to waste and all those possible life experiences (marriage, children, grandchildren, music, art, laughter and fun) will never come to pass. This is added to the fact that back in this world your history will always be marred by your suicide, and your family and friends will have to put the pieces of their lives back together without you. If you are more religious and believe in an afterlife, this is what happens to the person who commits suicide in Islam: you essentially repeatedly commit suicide in the fashion you committed. Or go to hell. Either way there’s no happy ending.

I believe we are never given any burdens we cannot cope with in this life, so there is always a solution to whatever challenges we are facing be they bullying, financial debts, shame and depression. Here is a fantastic article I came across where the author explains how she overcame her depression. Taking one’s life is one of the most selfish acts we are capable of committing, and the reason people do it is because for that one moment they are in full control of their life which makes it extremely tempting. There is no happy ending and there is much more to life than the burdens we are faced with every day, so we should try to appreciate the good things in our lives and all the love we get from the people around us. More importantly, we should remember that our self isn’t the most important thing but rather our relationship with God is.

Mohammed Wilkinson, (2015)

12 comments on “Committing suicide doesn’t achieve anything

  1. conartistocracy
    July 12, 2015

    The problem is despair. Having someone to talk to such as The Samaritans can restore perspective. Religious proscriptions of suicide are interesting – why should it matter what a person does to themself? But the fact that religions do warn against suicide is worth heeding. Just because we don’t know the consequences doesn’t mean there aren’t any. If there is life after death one problem may well be replaced by another one. Acting without knowing the consequences is usually a bad idea.

    Like

    • hlmwilki
      July 12, 2015

      yes exactly! On the point why it matters what we do to ourselves, well this is kind of a deep topic. But the thing is because we have souls, our souls get affected by our actions. Stuff on the mental and spiritual levels have nock-on effects to the rest of our lives such as our bodies and emotions. On another note, taking your life means that you don’t have trust in God’s power and support and perhaps don’t believe in his existence either. So killing yourself takes you out of this test we call life, and puts you in a bad position afterwards.
      But as I said, even if nothing happens when you die, you’ve massively hurt the people around you, and I can’t see a justification for that especially when you have responsibilities like children.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. conartistocracy
    July 12, 2015

    @ himwilki. Yes, leaves a lifelong burden for the loved ones.

    Like

  3. BookOfPain
    July 15, 2015

    Very kindly written!

    Liked by 1 person

    • hlmwilki
      July 15, 2015

      Thank you, I appreciate that! 😀

      Like

  4. 🌹AmyRose🌹
    July 15, 2015

    I read your post and agree for the most part. I have a lot more life under my “belt” then you do as well as a NDE. That being said, I would be very careful to say that the person who committed suicide would have a worse situation in the afterlife. Do you know this personally? There are so many people who are suffering due to a Loved one committing suicide, saying what you did is like pouring acid on an open wound, that is so deep and extremely painful.
    What I learned in my NDE that God/Allah is The Source of LOVE, and never would this Source make it worse for someone who is in that magnitude of pain. I was shown how there is a place for those who hurt like this to heal, and then to return here (or another world) to put what they learned into action in a new life. Their “test” was to pass the point of being tempted to take his or her own life. No one is ever condemned to hell or suffering in the afterlife. No one.
    What man teaches about God/Allah, one must have a very open Mind and Heart in order to sift through the Truths, the Half Truths, and the lies. Yes, there truly are lies. The ONLY Truth man will find is within his own Heart where this Source of Love lives within each of us.
    I by no means am criticizing you. I would only hope that you will be more aware of the suffering people in the world who are dealing with the horrific circumstance of loosing someone they Loved, to suicide. This world needs Compassion, Love, and Understanding, not judgment.
    Thank you for listening. It is your choice to delete this comment if you so wish. Even my sister who is very fundamentalist in her beliefs, is beginning to accept ALL without judgment. I am so proud of her I could bust! My point, if she has learned tolerance and is walking Love even amongst the “sinners” anyone can. 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    • hlmwilki
      July 15, 2015

      I totally agree with your comment that fundamentally God is full of Love and that surely how he deals with us is not going to be sharp and cutting, and his Compassion trumps his wrath always. And really I shouldn’t presume to know how God will judge people who commit suicide, and really I doubt there is one blanket result for every person who commits suicide. Of course I have no personal experience of what happens afterwards as I haven’t tried to kill myself.
      This source of Love within our hearts is very true, and indeed this is something Sufis aim to become sensitive to, as our hearts speak truths when it is clean.
      I agree I might have been a bit too judging, but only because I don’t want it to become alright for people to commit suicide when life becomes “too hard”, or for the people around them to be happy or proud that a person killed themselves.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. 🌹AmyRose🌹
    July 15, 2015

    PS If you choose to unfollow me due to my comment, again this is your choice. My Message is LOVE. And only LOVE. ❤ Love, AmyRose

    Liked by 1 person

    • hlmwilki
      July 15, 2015

      Don’t worry AmyRose. Everyone is allowed to voice their opinion and knowledge without judgment here on Consensus44. And personally, I’m happy that you took the time to give me feedback on what I wrote because I honestly sometimes don’t understand how my writing might affect or even hurt someone. I appreciate the comments. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • 🌹AmyRose🌹
        July 15, 2015

        I truly respect you!!! I’ve had people refusing to accept my way of communication. I am relieved to say that I have now met someone who is willing to accept others and to listen what they honestly have to say. You will go far. Believe me. A closed mind is not a very happy one, and makes for a very difficult life. Good for you in the way you responded to me, and thank you from the bottom of my Heart, for listening. My main focus when I reach out to others is to understand why they are hurting (I am an empath + much life experience) so have come to know how sensitive hurt people are. It takes a real big HEART to embrace others’ differences and to really be aware of how words/actions affect those around that person. This world truly has HOPE when I am seeing someone as young as you who is willing to Walk in Love. I honestly have tears in my eyes. I am not “officially” blogging right now as I have been caring for some of my cats who took a turn for the worse. It has been a lot of work and being so weary, have stepped away from Petals. I still manage to keep an eye on things, though. I’m glad I am because I have now met you!!! ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  6. hlmwilki
    July 16, 2015

    @AmyRose, I really appreciate your comments.^^
    And I did read on your blog that you were caring for your cats, and that they were finally getting better, which I’m really happy about! I have a cat, and I love her so much, so I understand your love for them.
    I do think it’s important to rest when we need to and not force ourselves to write, because it becomes too painful to try to write when you are not feeling up to it.

    Like

  7. licksnscritches
    July 19, 2015

    You say this as if people who commit suicide aren’t aware of it. Maybe some of them aren’t, but a whole lot of them are. As a thought experiment, try assuming that the suicidal person knew and believed all of this and still committed suicide, and try and understand the amount of pain they were in that made them ignore all of that and do it anyway. Then perhaps you will understand a piece of depression.

    Like

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This entry was posted on July 11, 2015 by in Philosophy and tagged , , , , , .
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